If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
