so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
my shit smells like andre
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
