I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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