i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
This is the prime rib incident all over again
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
