My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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