I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
