her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
did you just send me my own nude
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
