Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize