dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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