Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
my sisters under your porch take her home
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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