there's paper in my vomit.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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