last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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