pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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