Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
