The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Houston, we have a squirter
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
