Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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