yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
