Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
