So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
