i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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