youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
