I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
