So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
