i always forget guys have bellybuttons
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My cat gives me a boner
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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