it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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