there's paper in my vomit.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
