eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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