In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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