very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
