Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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