My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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