I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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