just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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