Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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