dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i would punch a child for taco bell
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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