i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
3pm strippers are depressing
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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