Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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