I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
