Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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