Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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