please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
