Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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