holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
two words: eviction party
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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