its not stalking. its research.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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