Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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