pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself