Texts From Last Night

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  (801): View more from Utah

  see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks

  (1-801): View more from Utah

  wait.... you do what?

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  (801): see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks (1-801): wait.... you do what? http://tfl.nu/1q1g
  Replies (18) Good night (3368) Bad night (717) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."

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  (661): I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry." http://tfl.nu/yxdf
  Replies (18) Good night (852) Bad night (3837) Order T-Shirt
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.

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  (339): today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day. http://tfl.nu/37h9
  Replies (22) Good night (3898) Bad night (615) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.

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  (404): you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are. http://tfl.nu/yq64
  Replies (9) Good night (6868) Bad night (1085) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back

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  (215): while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back http://tfl.nu/nfcm
  Replies (7) Good night (3496) Bad night (746) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing

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  (443): this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing http://tfl.nu/c7lz
  Replies (23) Good night (5842) Bad night (1337) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.

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  (917): I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake. http://tfl.nu/yic9
  Replies (24) Good night (1385) Bad night (2628) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.

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  (215): Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea. http://tfl.nu/cv1y
  Replies (13) Good night (1981) Bad night (866) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..

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  (309): remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him.. http://tfl.nu/o0zu
  Replies (12) Good night (1229) Bad night (2089) Order T-Shirt
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.

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  (705): Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M. http://tfl.nu/1ch5
  Replies (2) Good night (1599) Bad night (841) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.

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  (310): This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to. http://tfl.nu/veao
  Replies (14) Good night (920) Bad night (1336) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.

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  (423): Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows. http://tfl.nu/qes9
  Replies (4) Good night (1426) Bad night (317) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...

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  (613): Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick... http://tfl.nu/9qzg
  Replies (3) Good night (883) Bad night (369) Order T-Shirt
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.

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  (952): So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child. http://tfl.nu/9pky
  Replies (0) Good night (596) Bad night (112)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.

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  (904): Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am. http://tfl.nu/pjgw
  Replies (2) Good night (492) Bad night (182) Order T-Shirt

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