Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(519): View more from Ontario

so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?

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(519): so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out? http://tfl.nu/i75k

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(443): View more from Maryland

no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work

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(443): no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work http://tfl.nu/0acv

Replies (9) Good night (676) Bad night (3811)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles

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(412): i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles http://tfl.nu/39eh

Replies (19) Good night (4488) Bad night (668)
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(319): View more from Iowa

you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met

(1-319): View more from Iowa

thanks it was an honor just to be nominated

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(319): you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met (1-319): thanks it was an honor just to be nominated http://tfl.nu/yswc

Replies (37) Good night (11112) Bad night (1167)
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(727): View more from Florida

Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs

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(727): Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs http://tfl.nu/d5ya

Replies (33) Good night (1188) Bad night (7078)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.

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(304): Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer. http://tfl.nu/4dxu

Replies (6) Good night (2268) Bad night (876)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.

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(303): Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously. http://tfl.nu/0rsy

Replies (4) Good night (1193) Bad night (1493)
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(810): View more from Michigan

my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.

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(810): my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities. http://tfl.nu/947a

Replies (12) Good night (2495) Bad night (724)
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(760): View more from California

I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?

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(760): I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways? http://tfl.nu/qqdu

Replies (12) Good night (4660) Bad night (777)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great

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(978): It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great http://tfl.nu/o9gd

Replies (6) Good night (2441) Bad night (701)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...

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(803): Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday... http://tfl.nu/4ejd

Replies (8) Good night (1547) Bad night (651)
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(330): View more from Ohio

This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.

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(330): This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs. http://tfl.nu/3hwl

Replies (5) Good night (2185) Bad night (753)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.

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(978): i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken. http://tfl.nu/6c3c

Replies (1) Good night (879) Bad night (353)
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(408): View more from California

If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed

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(408): If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed http://tfl.nu/2ety

Replies (3) Good night (841) Bad night (366)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break

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(610): Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break http://tfl.nu/ukrr

Replies (2) Good night (359) Bad night (243)

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