would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
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