We're facebook friends in real life
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He finger blasted me like an angel dude