Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i dont even know how to be here
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
