New low: just hacked my moms facebook
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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