I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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