you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize