Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
