I should be sponsored by Trojan
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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