ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
