he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
