just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
