I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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