god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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