people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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