Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
there is glitter all over my balls
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