but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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