I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Sext me about skeletons
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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