whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
