So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
