He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
