he thought i was a dude.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
