I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Dear god my vagina.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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