No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she pinky promised me she was 18
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
