watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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