I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
