I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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