Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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